I Looked Out the Window and What Did I See?

I work in a high-rise in downtown Salt Lake City. The building is currently surrounded by construction chaos. My cubicle is located on the 9th floor, which used to be only 2 floors above the parking structure that surrounded the building on 3 sides. That is no more. The mall that I used to play in as an annoying pubescent child is no more. The really cool mall that had several levels of criss-crossing escalators is no more. Things they are a changing.

On the south side of my office building is a very large crane. It is attached into the building in a couple of places and is completely computerized. Several times a day I watch the crane glide past my window. Sometimes it’s empty and sometimes it’s carrying an object. I’ve seen generators, wood, metal beams and at least once a week a couple of port-a-pottys. Yes, you read that correctly, port-a-pottys.

However, nothing can quite compare to the view on Monday. There were five, yes folks, five port-a-pottys flying past my window. It was a sight to behold. I was on the phone with my mom and was so distracted by the vision that she had to ask me if I was still there. Oooops. I even had to chuck a small foam ball at Marty to get her attention so that she too could see the wonder of it all.

Have you ever seen five port-a-potty fly?

Women Are Naturally Honest

One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "My dear child, why are you crying?" The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water and that she needed it to help her husband in making a living for their family.

The Lord dipped His hand into the water and pulled up a golden thimble set with sapphires. "Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked The seamstress replied, "No."

The Lord again dipped into the river. He held out a golden thimble studded with rubies. "Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked. Again, the seamstress replied, "No."

The Lord reached down again and came up with a leather thimble. "Is this your thimble ?" the Lord asked. The seamstress replied, "Yes." The Lord was pleased with the woman's honesty and gave her all three thimbles to keep, and the seamstress went home happy.

Some years later, the seamstress was walking with her husband along the riverbank, and her husband fell into the river and disappeared under the water. When she cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked her, "Why are you crying?" "Oh Lord, my husband has fallen into the river!"

The Lord went down into the water and came up with George Clooney. "Is this your husband?" the Lord asked. "Yes," cried the seamstress.

The Lord was disappointed. "You lied!" The seamstress replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to George Clooney, you would have come up with Brad Pitt. Then if I said 'no' to him, you would have come up with my husband. Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three. Lord, I'm not in the best of health and would not be able to take care of all three husbands, so THAT'S why I said 'yes' to George Clooney. And so the Lord let her keep him.

The moral of this story is: Whenever a woman lies, it's for a good and honorable reason, and in the best interest of others.

That's our story, and we're sticking to it.

Signed, All Us Women

What Does That Mean?

So, my friend Marty and I were discussing the fact that we weren't exactly sure what the name of the new James Bond movie means. Quantum of Solace??? So, I asked my good friend Merriam Webster for a little assistance.

quan•tum
Pronunciation:
\kwän-təm\
Function: noun
1 a: QUANTITY , AMOUNT b: PORTION , PART c: gross quantity : BULK

solace
Function: noun
1 : alleviation of grief or anxiety 2 : a source of relief or consolation

So, according to Mirriam (we're tight) Quantum of Solace could mean -
Portion of Relief
Quantity of Consolation
Amount of Anxiety Relief

Since I haven't seen the movie, yet, I'm thinking that James is going to exact revenge on some bad dude as a way to have a portion of his grief alleviated. I know that I personally enjoy when I can exact some revenge. Mine usually occurs in my day dreams though because I don't have a way cool car or "mad skills" like my other BFF, James.

YIAM (Yes, I Amuse Myself)